Did you know that most husbands are actually OK with their wives spending time and resources on self-care? It’s true!
If you think about it, it makes sense, when we take care of ourselves, we can show up as our best selves. And that is a win-win for everyone around us!
Tune in to this episode of A Life Designed to find out more about why your husband wants you to take care of yourself and get a few tips to take care of yourself in mind, body and spirit!
If you would like more support, I’ve created a marriage freebie for you today. It’s my guide called 3 Simple Things You Can Do To Speak To Your Man’s Heart Today! I hope it helps!
If you would like more positive support in your life, join me in my private Facebook group, A Life Designed.
Welcome to A Life Designed.
My name is Tina Haisman. I help women who are struggling with the overwhelm of trying to balance being a wife, mother and career-woman.
When they work with me, they discover how to design their life so they can live in alignment with their priorities.
The topic of today’s podcast is …
Your Husband Really Wants You to Practice Self-Care
But before we get started, I have something for you that is marriage related. It’s a free guide called 3 Simple Things You Can Do to Speak To Your Man’s Heart Today. I will put the link in the episode description.
I would also like to invite you to my private group on Facebook where you can come to get positive inspiration for your life. Search A Life Designed in the facebook search bar.
Now let’s Dive IN and talk about how …
Your Husband Really Wants You to Practice Self-Care
So. Here is where this is coming from.
Christian Author Shaunti Feldhahn conducted a study of men and published the results in her book For Women Only.
One of the compelling pieces of information she shares in the book is that it is really important to our husbands that we take care of ourselves. By this they mean that we look good on the outside and we feel good on the inside so that we are energetic enough to spend fun time with them.
Shaunti found that 47% of men said they want their wives to make an effort to take care of herself.
And 70% of men said it emotionally bothers them if their wife doesn’t take care of herself.
You guys! This is like the best news ever! This means your husband is OK with you spending time and resources on self-care! True story!!
So the information I am sharing with you today is backed by research. It’s not just made up.
The reason the men in this study said they want us to take care of ourselves is because it makes them feel loved. Yes. You heard me right. You taking care of you makes your husband feel loved. Why? Because. It shows him that you care enough about him to look and feel your best.
If you ask me, this is a win-win! Because I also like to look and feel good! I bet you do too. And, when we look good and feel good, that positively impacts everyone around us, because we are a joy to be around! We are happier. Wouldn’t you agree?
So let this information free you from the guilt of spending time or resources to take care of yourself!
Then, the question to ask yourself is what do I need to do to look and feel good? The answers might be different for all of us. I’m going to start by talking about how we can feel good on the inside first, then we will talk about looking good on the outside after that.
For our internal self-care, I’d like us to consider three main aspects of ourselves – mind, body and spirit.
I’d like to inspire you with a few ideas in each of these three areas.
Some ideas for taking care of our mind are nurturing it with new things that we are interested in. Like by reading books or taking classes or even working if that suits you. Consider meditation to calm your mind. And, I would be remiss if I didn’t say to spend time journaling about all of the thoughts in your mind.
So, I want to share a recent experience I had with this. I wanted to invest in a full-day women’s event. It was more than I would normally spend. But I thought it would really be worth it for the personal growth I would experience that day. When I brought it to my husband, feeling a little timid about the price, he encouraged me and rearranged his calendar to take care of things with the kids so I could go. He was happy to help me find the time to do something meaningful for myself. I bet your guy would do the same!!
Are there things like this you’d like to do for yourself? Have you asked your husband if he could help you arrange it? It might be something to think about.
Another aspect of taking care of you is taking care of your spirit. I like to think of this as nurturing your heart. You can do this in many ways. It could be spending time with God in prayer or in church. Reading books or listening to things that inspire you. Or spending time with people who inspire you. It could even be doing random acts of kindness for others. Or just being a loving, compassionate person. This is a wonderful way to love yourself and those around you as well.
A woman who puts time and energy toward her spirit just glows, wouldn’t you agree? There’s just something about her that other people want to have. And her husband see’s it too. I happen to know that he loves that about her! He secretly draws strength from that. So, please take care of your heart and soul, girls!
Next up, let’s talk about taking care of our physical body. Of course we all know that we could eat a little healthier, make a little time for exercise, get a little more sleep.
We also need to make getting ourselves to our regular doctor appointments a priority. And not let pains linger too long before attending to them. You get the idea.
What I most want you to remember from this section about taking care of your body is to focus on progress not perfection. Just focus on making small changes!! There is no rush!! You will feel soooo much better successfully making small changes than by making one big change that is too big to sustain. Got it! OK.
So now let’s move on to another aspect of taking care of ourselves. That’s our outer beauty.
Our husbands love it when we look our best on the outside. It’s like a gift to them.
As we all know, men are very visual. They like beauty.
But sometimes, once we’ve been married for a while and become moms, it gets difficult to feel up to taking care of our outer selves. The demands are so great from our children our work and everything else we are juggling, that we put our shower and getting dressed in street clothes on the back burner.
I know there are times in our lives that this happens. That’s obviously totally understandable. But for the most part, I think most of us can manage a shower and doing our hair and makeup and getting dressed!
Here’s how I have worked on this … and many of you know this about me. I get up at 5 a.m. to pray, work out, shower and be present with my children before they go to school. I do this so when everyone else leaves for the day I am ready for whatever may come my way. And it also allows my husband to see me freshly showered and dressed for my day.
Also, I make an effort to stay dressed in my clothes for the day until after my husband comes home from work. In the summer, this is easier, but in the winter here in Chicago, it would be so easy to come home and put on yoga pants right away. Sometimes I definitely do! But I do consider that I want my husband to see me dressed up and looking nice! When I say dressed up, I just mean street clothes. Jeans and a sweater in the winter since I don’t work in an office.
So, I want to share this with you in the hopes that it can encourage you to spend a few minutes on your outer appearance for your guy! It will show him that you care about him, make him happy and help him feel more connected to you.
AND here’s a fun part! It makes him feel proud of you. Which he loves! You know how guys are. They are competitive with other men!! So, when you look good, he looks good! Get it?!
I know of a life coach who has publicly shared that her husband actually told her that he loves it when she wears professional clothes. So, even though she works from home, she makes an effort to dress professionally for him.
It’s an act of love.
One final point I want to be clear on. Our husbands are not wishing we become someone we are not. They are not secretly wishing they married a super model. They just want us to be the best version of us. The woman they fell in love with.
So, if you don’t feel like you are in the best place right now, in mind, body and spirit, I hope you feel empowered to do what you need to do to improve that situation for yourself. Don’t feel guilty for it! Know that your husband is totally OK with you taking time and resources to take care of yourself!
I know this is easier said than done, so if you would like to work on this with a coach, reach out to me. Working with a life coach helps you reach your goals faster and with more confidence!
Thank you so much for listening in. Please let me know if you have any specific questions.
Remember! To download your free guide about 3 Simple Steps to Speak to Your Man’s Heart Today. The link is in the episode description.
Thank you! See you next week!