Why You Aren't Happier ... And How You Can Be

Have you ever wondered why you aren’t happier? From the outside it seems like your life should be great, but on the inside, you’re just not feeling that happy. There could be a very sneaky reason for it! But don't worry! There's something you can do about it.

In this week’s podcast, I will tell you what this sneaky happiness stealer is, then share with you five simple ways you can feel happier!

I also have a free download for you today that will help you feel happier. It’s a FREE Daily Gratitude Journal. Download it HERE! 
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And join us in the Life Designed Community on Facebook!

TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to A Life Designed.
 
My name is Tina Haisman. I teach busy moms how to get everything done and still have time and energy for themselves. My passion is for helping women create more heart-to-heart connection with their husband and children so they can feel deeply fulfilled in those most important relationships.
 
The topic of today’s podcast is … Why You Aren’t Happier … And How You Can Be
 
But before we get started, I have something for you. It is a Daily Gratitude Worksheet. That you can use to cultivate more gratitude in your life. I will put the link for you to download it in the show notes.
 
I would also like to invite you to my private group on Facebook where you can come to get positive inspiration for your life. Search A Life Designed in the facebook search bar.
 
Now let’s dive in and talk about Why You Aren’t Happier … And How You Can Be
 
I’m going to take you back in time to the year 2000 When Paul and I bought a new home. It was absolutely perfect! I loved it so much!

I saw all of the wonderful things about it! It was in Florida. The yard was large with lots of trees. It had a swimming pool. It was a split floorplan. The kitchen was beautiful, and the family room had a fireplace – that was a bit rare in Florida!
 
Of course there were some projects I wanted to do, but looking forward to those brought me joy, too, because they would enhance my enjoyment of my home.
 
But over the years, my attention changed from being so grateful for the house to noticing more and more of the imperfections that needed to be repaired or replaced. Things were wrong with it. Like dings in the walls or scuffs on the doors or the guest bathroom needing to be repainted. … you know the list … we all have them, right?
 
Even though we upgraded certain parts of our home, all of these other things were catching more of my attention now. My satisfaction with my home was deteriorating.
 
It wasn’t until we were putting that house on the market to move out of state that I realized what had happened.
 
You see, I really didn’t want to move out of state. So, suddenly my house seemed perfect again. I didn’t want to leave it. I started seeing all of the things I loved about it again. Things that I would miss. I looked at it with fresh eyes. And it felt so good!
 
This happens to us in all facets of life with absolutely everything.
 
Think about that new car you just had to have. It made you SO happy in the beginning. How do you feel about it 2 or 3 years later? Yes, you might still love it, but does it still make you as happy as it did when you first bought it?
 
What about that new outfit you just had to have. You loved it so much you didn’t even wait for a sale. Does it make you as happy today as it did when you first bought it?
 
Your husband. Now that you’ve been married for a while. Are you as happy with him as you were in the beginning? Let me guess. You’ve noticed a few things over the years that now drive you crazy.
 
This is no joke. Many people do trade their spouse in for a new one to get that loving feeling back.
 
There is actually a name for this phenomenon. It’s called hedonic adaptation. Which just means that you get used to something and it doesn’t make you as happy anymore. As you noticed it happens with material things and relationships as well.
 
It also happens with smaller daily pleasures.
 
Think about listening to your favorite song. When you hear it once in a while, you are so happy to hear it. It makes you so happy! But have you ever played your favorite song on repeat (come on, you know you have!). After a few times, it doesn’t make you as happy anymore and you are ready to move on.
 
How about that piece of dark chocolate after dinner. The first week or two it’s so good. Such a treat! But then you get used to it and one is not enough. You want more.
 
Or maybe that great salad recipe you found for lunch. You ate it every day for a week. It probably doesn’t make you as happy to eat it after a whole week of eating the same thing.
 
Now don’t get me wrong, these little daily pleasures are wonderful. They make us feel good. But the point I’m trying to make is that we get used to them pretty quickly. And that’s the hedonic adaptation kicking in.
 
Don’t worry! It’s not just you. This is part of the human condition. So today, I want to share with you ways to prolong the enjoyment of the things that make you happy so you can feel happier more often!
 
I’m going to share 5 things you can do to feel happier in your life.
 
Number 1. Intentionally plan activities in your day that make you happy. So often we plan everything that needs to get done. And we find that leaves little or no time for anything we would like to do. I am giving you permission to STOP that immediately! Plan time to do things that make you happy every day! Is it connecting with a friend? Going out for a run? Reading a book?
 
Number 2. Intentionally savor the experiences that make you happy. You know how you savor a piece of really good warm Dutch apple pie with that crumbly crust and ice cream on top? Savor your life experiences that way.
 
There are several ways to savor something, but I’ll just share 3. First and most importantly is to be really be present in the moment to really experience it and not be thinking about anything else. The second way is to tell someone about the event later and relive it. The third idea is to take time to replay the video of the event in your mind at a later time and journal about it. This way you will have a written documentation of it to look back at, and you can savor it again!
 
Number 3. Is to try to look for new ways to change up the things that make you happy. Many times we set up routines that make us happy initially, but we get into a zone with them and they don’t create as much joy anymore.
 
Are you getting bored of puzzles? Try some paint by numbers. Do you always listen to the same music playlist? Explore some new ones for a bit. Do you always have the same salad for lunch? Ask a friend for her favorite salad recipe. Do you always walk the dog on the same route, change it up today!
 
I think you get the picture. You can keep doing the things that make you happy, but try to change things up once in a while to space out all the goodness!
 
Number 4. Is to consider helping someone else out. Research show that volunteering and helping others and doing acts of kindness has a lasting effect on our happiness. What are you passionate about? Helping friends in need? Helping the homeless? Helping those who are disabled? What gets your passions flowing? Where you could give a little of your time that would make you happy?
 
Finally, tip number 5 for today. Is to make sure you are taking time to connect with other people. One of the best things we can do for our happiness is connect with other people. Like really connect with them. The best kind of connection comes from meeting with people in person, but if you have family or friends who live far away, be sure to try the phone or a video meeting, rather than just texting. It’s a more real, fulfilling connection. You will notice the difference.
 
Friends. I hope that what you are seeing here is that it takes work to be happy. So, if you have ever wondered why it’s so hard to be happy, now you know that it’s not you. It’s just the way humans are wired.
 
If you would like to take this concept deeper and get personalized help on how you can be happier in your life reach out to me. We can have a complimentary call to talk about a plan for you.
 
Thank you so much for listening in. Please let me know if you have any specific questions.
 
Thank you! See you next week!