Being a mother is constant. It never stops. There is more written on each one of our daily “to do” lists than is humanly possible to achieve; and as if that’s not frustrating enough, we’re supposed to make motherhood look easy and show up to every function smiling and looking like beauty queens.
But, how is all of this possible with the full lives we already lead? Where are we supposed to find the time and energy to do it all?
Today I’m going to tell you a little bit about my story and how I learned why it’s so important to take good care of myself so you can be inspired to go and take good care of yourself. Then I’ll share a super-simple way you can get started on taking better care of you TODAY!
This is important, because when you are well in mind, body and spirit, so is your family and the whole world.
I hope you’ll tune in!
For more inspiration, join me in my private A Life Designed community on Facebook.
Also, I have created a free Marriage Communication Masterclass for you! This class is for you if you want to stop fighting with your husband and feel like you are on the same team.
Welcome to A Life Designed.
My name is Tina Haisman. I teach busy moms how to get everything done and still have time and energy for themselves. My passion is for helping women create more heart-to-heart connection with their husband and children so they can feel deeply fulfilled in those most important relationships.
The topic for today’s podcast is Why It’s Important to Take Care of Yourself
But before we get started I want to let you know I have created a free video on Communication in Marriage for you. This video is for you if you have ever felt like you can’t get through to your husband. If you feel like your husband never listens to you. If you lose your cool during difficult conversations. If you’re tired of fighting with your husband.
In just 30 minutes, this video will help you lay the foundation for healthy communication in marriage and teach you how to handle difficult conversations so you can feel more connected and like you’re on the same team as your husband. Visit the link in the show notes to access it.
Also I have a FREE private group on Facebook where you can come to get inspiration for your life. It’s called A Life Designed. I hope you’ll join us!
Now let’s Dive IN and talk about … Why It’s Important to Take Care of Yourself
Today I’m going to tell you a little bit about my story and how I learned why it’s so important to take good care of myself so you can be inspired to go and take good care of yourself. Then I am going to give you a simple tool you can use today to get started.
I’ve always been known as a happy person. In fact, in high school my nickname was smiley.
But somewhere along the way in life, something changed…life happened, I guess…but I didn’t really realize it.
One day, back in 2007, I think. When my kids were 5 and 2, I found myself sitting on the side of my bathroom tub at 5 a.m., having just gotten dressed to go work out. I just sat there. I felt. Sad. Depressed. Lonely. Lost.
I remember whispering a prayer out loud to God. I said, “God, I don’t think I can do this today.” I was looking at the daunting task ahead of me of staying home with my two children all day.
Even though that was the life I chose to live, I was exhausted by it.
How could that be? I was married to my prince charming. We lived in a beautiful home in Florida. We were healthy. I didn’t have to go to work to help support our budget. I had everything I ever wanted.
God heard my prayer, of course he did, and he sent help almost immediately. He sent me a teacher to show me how to find my joy again and make my life what I wanted it to be!
I want that for you. I want that for every mom. And I can be your teacher.
So the first let’s talk about WHY we should take care of ourselves. I’ve got 3 compelling reasons to share with you.
The first reason is so we can be the woman we want to be to our children and husband. When we look in the mirror, we like who we see. We can smile at her.
This is important, because we only get one shot at this life. To be our best selves. And to experience it with our husband. And with our children.
So many women think this self-care thing is selfish. I couldn’t disagree, more.
We HAVE GOT to take care of ourselves, or we will have nothing to give our husbands and children that we care so much about.
You can not get water from an empty well, right?
Fill up your well. Then, you will be able to be mother and wife you want be. The woman you want to be.
The second reason we must take good care of ourselves is to bring more joy and peace into our homes.
Taking good care of ourselves brings more joy and peace into our homes, because it brings more joy and peace into us.
And when we have more joy and peace in us, we have more of it to give to our most important people and to the world.
Let me ask you this, have you ever noticed how people tend to mirror your energy?
What I mean by that is, if you approach something calmly, your people tend to stay calm, too. But if you come off stressed and frazzled and all amped up, they respond the same way.
That’s just a natural response of the human condition.
When you are experiencing joy and peace, your family will experience joy and peace, and the whole world will experience more joy and peace, too.
So if we want more joy and peace in our lives, … we need to be more intentional about taking care of ourselves. It starts with us, then spreads to those around us.
The third reason it’s important to take good care of ourselves is because it is truly our responsibility to do it.
I am super-serious right now. There is a mistake many of us make in marriage without knowing the consequences. I most certainly made it, and it almost cost me my husband.
The mistake is that we put our self-care on the back burner. We think we’re too busy or we’ll get to it eventually.
And we subconsciously wait for someone -- aka our husband – to see our discomfort and step in and tell us to take a break. And then with their permission, we think we will.
But what if that permission never comes. So often it doesn’t. Because no one really knows how we are feeling inside except us.
We need to take responsibility for taking care of ourselves so that we can be well in mind, body heart and soul.
So, my question to you is this.
Do you know how to take care of yourself in mind, body heart and soul?
Do you know what that looks like?
Do you intentionally create space in your life to do the things that fill you up?
If you’re like many women, your answer is no.
But if you think about it, that’s crazy. Because being a mother and wife is the most important role you have. You deserve to feel your best so you can show up as your best.
I have a simple way for you to start doing that today.
I want you to make a list of 20 things you like to do. That bring you joy and peace.
Some examples are:
talking with a friend on the phone
going out with a friend
listening to music
running or exercising
taking a bath
taking a class to learn something new
I want you to make a list of the things you love to do. Print it out. Post it. Make it your wallpaper. Whatever you’ve gotta do!
Then pick at least 1 of these things to do for yourself every day. Wouldn’t that feel luxurious?
Don’t tell me you don’t have time! You do! And here’s why.
Taking care of yourself will expand your time. Wait. What did I just say? Yes. I said taking care of yourself will expand your time.
You know this is true, because you’ve experienced it.
Because when you are relaxed and happy you get more done. When you are stressed and frazzled, you get less done.
You know how the printer always jams or runs out of ink when you have a deadline for something? Yes. That’s what I’m talking about. Stress = a mama jam. Let’s take care of ourselves so we can try to prevent those jams.
Also, I would like to encourage you to leave even a tiny bit of white space in your day for enjoyment for yourself. Don’t schedule every moment of every day so there is nothing left and nothing to look forward to.
And empower yourself to say, “no” sometimes. You don’t have to do everything that is asked of you.
I want to see you master the skill of creating your own happiness and joy!
Can you imagine how much better our world would be if more people would do this!
Here’s a tip! Let your mood be your indicator! If you notice you are feeling stressed or grumpy, that should be your cue to take care of you! Got it!!
I know this is easier said than done, so if you would like to work on this with a coach, reach out to me for a complimentary consultation where you will get to experience what it’s like to have the full attention of an experienced life coach listening to you in a non-judgmental, compassionate setting.
We will take a look at where you are, where you want to be and come up with a plan to get you there. Just this conversation alone will give you relief from the challenges you are currently facing.
Remember to download my free marriage communication masterclass and don’t forget to join the Life Designed Community on Facebook!
Thank you! See you next time!