There Must be More to Life Than This

So often I hear from women that they aren’t happy. They aren’t fulfilled. They feel like something is missing in life. And they literally wonder if there is more to life than this bump and grind of every day.

Have you ever felt that way? Exhausted. Depleted. Maybe even bored – not that you’re not busy – but you’re just not really living and having fun.

Have you spent years trying to feel better by reading self-help books, or taking classes … or even going to counseling?

If so, you’re not alone. So many of us moms find ourselves here at some point.

The problem is that we are focusing on solving the problem the wrong way. We are searching outside of ourselves to try to fill the void.

We will never fill this gap from the outside. It has to be filled from the inside. And I’d like to show you how to start doing that in this episode of the podcast.

​If you need more inspiration for self-care in motherhood, you can download my Ultimate Guide to Guilt-Free Self-Care HERE! It’s a Guide to help you take care of yourself in mind, body and spirit so you can feel like your best self every day. 

And join us in the Life Designed Community on Facebook! 

TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to A Life Designed.
 
My name is Tina Haisman. I teach busy moms how to get everything done and still have time and energy for themselves. My passion is for helping women create more heart-to-heart connection with their husband and children so they can feel deeply fulfilled in those most important relationships.
 
The topic of today’s podcast is There Must Be More to Life Than This
 
But before we get started I want to let you know I have created a free download call the Ultimate Guide to Guilt-Free Self-Care. I’m really proud of this guide. It’s a Guide to help you take care of yourself in mind, body and spirit so you can feel like your best self every day. And that topic goes just perfectly with our theme today! Visit my website tinahaisman.com to download it.
 
Also, I have a FREE private group on Facebook where you can come to get inspiration for your life. It’s called A Life Designed. It’s actually a happy place on Facebook. I hope you’ll join us!
 
Now let’s Dive IN and talk about There Must Be More to Life Than This

When I was a younger mom, and my children were little – like 5 and 2 – I found myself one morning at 5:00 sitting on the side of my bathtub in the dark in my Florida home. I had just gotten up for the day.
 
It was only 5 a.m. But already, I felt Sad. Depressed. Lonely. Depleted. Physically and emotionally exhausted.
 
How could that be? I was married to my prince charming. We lived in a beautiful home in Florida. We were healthy. I was able to stay home and do some freelance writing to help support our budget and keep my career going. It appeared I had everything I ever wanted.
 
So, why then, was I feeling this way? As I spoke to other women about this, they said things like, “You have to take care of yourself. Schedule some time alone. Go get a massage or something.”
 
So I told my husband about how I was feeling and that I was going to get a massage that weekend. We both thought that would make me feel better.
 
During the massage I was very emotional. It really struck me how exhausted I was. I cried during the massage. Weird right?
 
As the therapist massaged the different parts of my body, I imagined that she was literally breaking up the stress and negative emotions and pushing them out of my body.
 
After the massage, I felt great! But the results wore off quickly. Like really quickly. Like walk in the door and one whiny child sent me right back to reality. Ugh.
 
I felt hopeless. I didn’t know what to do. I mean, if the massage didn’t make me feel better, what would?
 
What was going to fill me up?
 
Have you ever felt this way? Exhausted. Depleted. Like there must be more to life than this. Maybe even bored – not that you’re not busy – but you’re just not having fun.
 
Have you spent years trying to feel better by reading self-help books, or taking classes … you may have even tried counseling to figure it out.
 
If so, you’re not alone. So many of us moms find ourselves here at some point.
 
The problem is that we are focusing on solving the problem the wrong way. We are searching outside of ourselves to try to fill the hole.
 
The problem is we will never fill this gap from the outside. It has to be filled from the inside. And I’d like to show you how to start doing that today.
 
It starts with self-care, my friend. I call this Godly Self Care. When we take care of ourselves in mind, body, heart and soul, we will feel SO MUCH BETTER. And we will be able to have the full feeling of love and joy and purpose on the inside.  
 
I’m going to share 6 steps that are going to get you on track to feeling full of life and abundance! 

Let’s get started!
 
You’re gonna laugh at the simplicity of this. But Step 1 is a Brain Dump

• As moms we get very little sleep. But do you want to know the truth. That lack of sleep is not what is making us so tired.
• What is making us so tired is the mental work of motherhood.
• Every day, we do all the things for all the people: run to Target; make dinner; brush teeth; braid hair; sort laundry; schedule an oil change; hunt down the “right” kind of string cheese; quiz spelling words; kiss boo-boo’s; get the dog to the groomer…
• But what you don’t see—is the way we are all constantly MENTALLY assessing and tending to the well-being of our children & husband
• It’s like a merry go round that never stops spinning.
• Remember this. Remember that. Don’t forget this. Don’t forget that.
• So, the first step in self-care is to get off of the merry go round so we can settle down. Be more clear. Be more calm. And stop worrying about so many things. And be present.
• So, I recommend a brain dump.
• It’s like turning your purse over and emptying it onto a table.
• Write down everything that is on your mind.
• Everything you need to do.
• Everything you need to remember.
• Everything that is stressing you out.
• I like to do this at the start of each new month … and at the start of each new week.
• Give yourself 5-10 minutes to start your list.
• Then, leave it out throughout the day to add to it, because things are going to come to you.
• You can go back and organize your list later.
• You can prioritize it.
• You can list deadlines next to the items. You can put items directly on your calendar.
• My best advice is to space it out. ONLY Pick 1-3 things to accomplish each day.

This is going to make you feel so organized and on top of things!  

Now, let’s move on.
 
Step 2. Pay Attention to What Your Body is Telling You

• God gave us our bodies for the purpose of carrying out his work here on earth.
• It is so important to pay attention to what our bodies are telling us.
• Because they are messengers.
• Often, we will get physical signs that point to how our emotions are doing. Headaches. Shoulder aches. Stomach aches. Exhaustion.
• What is going on with your body? Do a quick scan. Does your body feel well right now, or is something bothering you?
• Girlfriends. We have got to take care of ourselves. And make ourselves a priority.
• We have got to get some sleep, fill our body with nutrients that give us energy, and find ways to exercise our bodies & bring us joy.
• I know. In this demanding season of motherhood it can be very discouraging and overwhelming.
• And it might even seem impossible.
• But remember. This is not about perfection. It’s about progress.
• It’s about being intentional about taking care of yourself.
• We don’t have to go out and run a marathon. Or start the Whole 30 diet tomorrow.
• But we can start with some reasonable goals.
• If all of your nutrition is off right now, pick one meal to work on this week and make it better.
• If you know you need to exercise, start small. Walk. Playing with kids.
• And if you’re exhausted, sleep, for goodness sake.
• Take time every day to pay attention to how your body feels. Do a scan from head to toe. What hurts. What feels good.
• Then if something hurts, what can you do to heal it?
• We must slow down and check in with ourselves to make sure these bodies of ours are able to function at full capacity.
• It’s not a luxury.
• This step is going to give you so much energy!
  
  

Step 3.  Gather Your Gratitude

• Gratitude is more than a reaction to receiving what we desire. It’s a tonic against disillusionment and bitterness. 
• Gratitude is a miracle-worker.
• Especially on the days when we feel a struggle to feel happy.
• This step also slows us down and brings us into the present moment where we can see all of the blessings.
• Gratitude takes our attention off of our problems and helps us to focus on the positive.
• Gratitude opens up the door for continued blessings. It makes us feel refreshed and renewed. 
• I am often thankful for some basic things: my relationship with God, my family, my friends, my health, sleep, sunshine, my home, sleep …
• But I also look for unique things to be thankful for … every day offers something new to be thankful for in addition to the blessings we enjoy each day.
• So what are you grateful for today?
• Did a friend call you … did you have a nice time playing with your daughter … nice date with your husband, did your son’s teacher do something extra to help him …
• Scour our day for things to be thankful for.
• If you’re struggling, I would suggest going back to basics. Do you have a roof over your head? Running water?
• Every day write down 5-10 things you are grateful for.
• This is going to fill your heart with so much joy.

 
Step 4. Cultivate Your Creativity

• God blessed each one of us with unique skills, abilities & passions
• It is up to us to utilize them. 
• But many times, when we become a mother, some of our talents and gifts are unfortunately left by the wayside. I have good news for you!
• We don’t have to give up our passions and interests once we become a mom. And we shouldn’t!
• It’s important that we find time for what we love to do.
• It’s not a luxury.
• I’d love for you to think about what you have given up since becoming a mother? Reading, writing, exercising, gardening, painting, jewelry …
• Where can you bring some of that back into your life today?
• Easier said than done, I know, but if you take care of your own needs, you will be happier and will function better as a mom.
• I also like to encourage moms to ask themselves? Where can I be creative in my life today?
• In your parenting? Could you put your daughter’s socks in the freezer to entice her to put them on on a hot day? Could you let the kids have a picnic dinner in the family room instead of sitting at the table if they’re being difficult? Could you call a friend and find a new park to go to together?
• What about in your marriage? Could you come up with a fresh, new date night idea?
• Being creative makes life so much more fun! It will energize you!
• Where can you be creative today?

 
Step 5: Get in God’s Word

• God’s word answers almost every question we have about how we should be living our lives.
• I used to think the bible was some old book that is no longer relevant.
• Come to discover the scriptures are living and active.
• And the Holy Spirit uses them to speak to us in order to give us guidance, support and direction.
• Maybe you’re already an expert at this, maybe you’re not. Here’s how I got there.
• I started by just reading the bible verse of the day on my bible app.
•  Then I moved to a devotional, like Jesus Calling, based on scripture.
• I am Catholic, so sometimes I also read the daily readings.
• Then I ask God where it applies in my life. It’s crazy! It always does!
• Recently there was something bothering me in my marriage that I was wondering if I should talk to my husband about ….
• The scriptures God gave me that day were: Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth in wisdom; kindly instruction is on her tongue.
• And Psalms 141:3: Set a guard, Lord, before my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips.
• This was so helpful to me, and I never would have gotten the guidance if I wasn’t reading God’s word.
• So, if you want to hear what God is trying to tell you, try to give yourself a few minutes each day to take a look at what he has to say!
• You will feel so alive and sure of what you should be doing!

 
Step 6. Notice God’s Activity in Your Life

• Oh I love this one! This one makes life an adventure!
• God wants to have a personal relationship with each one of us. In fact, he created us specifically for that.
• He wants us to EXPERIENCE Him. To seek Him.
• Because the more we experience him, the more we will TRUST him.
• God is trying to talk to each one of us every moment of every day. We just have to look for it.
• I had one client who oddly received an $289 check when she had an extra $289 bill to pay.
• Another client was privately struggling with yelling at children, when God had a friend sent her an article to help her.
• You can choose to believe in coincidences or that these are messages from God.
• Back to the two verses I shared with you that God put on my heart about watching the words coming out of my mouth.
• Well, the same day a friend sent me a video called “Training Your Mouth for Marriage.” God’s message was unmistakable.
• If you look for these things, they are there!

·      If you would like to live your life more connected to God in addition to scripture, be on the lookout for “coincidences” and answered prayers!

• I encourage you to write down where you notice God taking action in your life. Keep a journal of it.
• Then you can go back and be amazed at just how often God is talking to you!

 
Conclusion
So, the six steps to start feeling like there is more to life than this are:
 
·      Dumping out the Contents of Your Brain
·      Paying Attention to What Your Body is Telling You
·      Gathering Your Gratitude
·      Cultivating Your Creativity
·      Getting in God’s Word
·      Noticing God’s Activity in Your Life
 
If you will work on these six things, you will start to feel more energized. Happier. More focused and that you are living more intentionally.
 
If you could use a little help with this, reach out to me. I can help you.
 
In the meantime. Remember! I have created a free Ultimate Guide to Guilt Free Self Care for you.
 
Don’t forget to join the Life Designed Community on Facebook!
 
Thank you! See you next week!