Things are pretty crazy in our world right now. You might be feeling a little more stressed and frazzled than normal. Maybe a little more worried than normal.
I get it. And I want to help you with that. I want to teach you how you can feel like your best self despite everything going on. So you can be present in your days. So you can be the best mother and wife possible. And so you can feel and enjoy a deep and loving connection with your family.
In this week’s podcast I am excited to share with you how we can blend faith and mental health approaches to feel better, so we can be the woman we want to be.
I also have a new free download for you today to deepen the impact of this podcast episode for you. It’s a FREE Daily Gratitude Journal. Download it HERE!
And join us in the Life Designed Community on Facebook!
Welcome to A Life Designed.
My name is Tina Haisman. I teach busy mid-life moms how to create more heart-to-heart connection with their husband and children so they can feel deeply fulfilled in their most important relationships.
When they work with me, they discover how to design their life so they can enjoy the connection they are seeking.
The topic of today’s podcast is … How to Manage Your Mind in a Crisis
But before we get started, I have something for you. It is a Daily Gratitude Worksheet. That you can use to cultivate more gratitude in your life. I will put the link for you to download it in the show notes.
I would also like to invite you to my private group on Facebook where you can come to get positive inspiration for your life. Search A Life Designed in the facebook search bar.
Now let’s dive in and talk about How to Manage Your Mind in a Crisis
This concept is one of the core teachings in my life coaching program.
The interesting thing is that one might think mindset work is purely secular, but I propose that it is not. I look at it from both a faith-filled and mental health approach.
From the faith-filled side, I draw inspiration for managing our minds from two specific places.
One is from Philippians 4:8: Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
I just love that verse. God is telling us to focus on what is good.
The second place in scripture where I draw inspiration for this concept is from the Proverbs 31 woman.
So, for those who may not be familiar with her, the proverbs 31 woman is a fictional character in the bible meant to be an inspiration to women and a celebration of women.
This woman in the bible has many great qualities that many of us share, and one of them is a strong mind.
In Proverbs 31:25 it says: She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.
I love this verse – I picture her –with whatever challenging is happening in her world – giving a big, deep laugh – like you think you’ve got me? Ha! Neverfear. I’ve got this!
This to me says the proverbs 31 woman is inspiring us to cultivate a good attitude – no matter what the circumstances.
Now this is where the mental health tools meet the faith inspiration. I have learned this mental health tool in various forms over the years, but most recently The Life Coach School has put it all together in a neat little package that makes it super-easy for anyone to learn. I am going to explain the model with you, then I will give you a couple of real life case studies to show you how it works.
The method is called the Model. There are 5 parts to this model: circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions and results.
Those 5 parts all work together in that order.
So, a circumstance happens.
You have a thought about the circumstance.
That thought causes you to have a feeling.
That feeling causes you to take an action.
That action gives you a result.
The first concept that is vital to understand with this model is that circumstances are always neutral. Meaning they are never bad or good.
For example the circumstance of the virus. It is not good or bad. What is good or bad is your thought about it.
This is actually a good thing. Because if we think a circumstance will determine if we are happy or not, we are giving all of our power away from a mental health perspective. Because often times we can not change the circumstance. Like right now. We can’t make this virus go away.
I want to chime in here from the faith perspective – God wants us to find the joy in everything, always. Right? We know this. And it is a challenge. So you can see this mental health model lines up with our faith.
Because it’s easy to have a good attitude in life when everything is going our way, but what about when life is hard? Like right now.
We might be tempted to think, “I will be happier when this is over” But that would be such a waste of time. Our challenge is to be happy now. Not to waste this time.
So I want to be clear, Your problem is never the circumstance you think it is. It is always your THOUGHTS about that circumstance.
If we get stuck wishing it would go away, we will feel nothing but frustrated.
So, what do we do? We learn how to manage our thoughts so we can feel better.
That’s something I help my clients with.
For example, one client came to a recent call with a thought about the coronavirus that was causing her lots of grief. Let’s walk through her model.
Her circumstance was the coronavirus came to the US.
Her thought was “this is terrible.”
The feeling this generated for her was fear. She used the word terrified.
Because of her fear, she was acting crabby and on edge around her family.
The result of acting crabby and on edge was that she was creating disconnect in her home with her husband and children, when what she really wanted above all else was connection with them.
So we talked about how a different thought could help her feel better and get a better result.
This is the new model we came up with.
So, her circumstance is the same -- the coronavirus came to the US.
Now, instead of the thought “this is terrible” … The new thought she chose was, “I have faith that God will bring us through this.”
The feeling this generated was peace. (Can you feel that peace?)
From this feeling of peace, she would be able to be present and live in the moment and make the best of the situation.
Then the result would be connected relationships with her husband and children.
Pretty cool, right? All of this because she changed one thought.
I’m not saying it’s easy to change a thought. It takes practice. So, what will likely happen is this client will continue to have fear creep up on her, that will alert her that she needs to choose her new thought again. When she does that, the peace will return.
Let’s take another example.
Another client lost her job as a result of the coronavirus.
The circumstance is that her employer told her she was going to be temporarily laid off.
Her thought was, “this is the worst thing ever. How will I ever find another job right now?”
That thought caused her to feel fear.
That fear caused the action of her spinning in worry in her mind. (Can any of you relate?)
The result is that she still didn’t have a job. And she was acting very stressed out toward her loved ones. (not the result she wanted. The whole reason she hired me was to help her have more connected relationships with her loved ones.)
So, here’s how we created a new model.
The circumstance is the same. Her employer told her she was being temporarily laid off.
Instead of thinking “this is the worst thing ever. How will I ever find another job right now?” She chose a new thought that said, “I know I am valuable. I am sure I can find something else.”
That thought gave her the feeling of hope.
That feeling of hope gave her the energy she needed to go online and look for a new position.
And now you see, her result is that she is one step closer to finding a new job, AND she is able to show up with that hopeful spirit in her family.
Do you see how your thought can totally change how you feel and the result you bring yourself.
Instead of blaming the virus, and giving the virus all our power, we take control back so we can feel better, take inspired action and come out of this situation better and stronger than when it started.
Managing your mind is life-changing. And I would argue vital at this point in time.
When you learn how to become the boss of your thoughts, you take control of your life! And you will feel better and happier!
I invite you to give this a try with whatever thoughts might be troubling you right now.
I know this is easier said than done, so reach out to me if you need help. I would love to help you.
Thank you so much for listening in. Please let me know if you have any specific questions.
Remember! Download your free guide Daily Gratitude Journal. I will put the link for you to download it in the show notes. And join us in the Life Designed community on Facebook.
Thank you! See you next week!