Have you ever struggled with thinking you're not a good mom ... or you're not likeable ... or you're not fun? Me too. Those are negative beliefs -- sometimes called limiting beliefs -- and they keep you stuck right where you are at.
What we don't realize is we think these negative thoughts so often that we eventually just take them as truth. But what if these are truths we don't want to believe? Or truths that are not serving us? Then those thoughts have got to go!
So, I am doing this podcast about limiting beliefs as much for me as for you. I want to help demystify this whole limiting belief thing.
My hope is to break the concept down simply and give you 3 easy steps to rid yourself of beliefs that are keeping you from the life you want.
I hope you’ll tune in!
If you would like more inspiration, download my Ultimate Guide to Guilt-Free Self-Care HERE!
And join us in the Life Designed Community on Facebook!
Welcome to A Life Designed!
My name is Tina Haisman.
I teach busy moms how to get everything done and still have time and energy for themselves. My passion is for helping women create more heart-to-heart connection with their husband and children so they can feel deeply fulfilled in those most important relationships.
The topic of today’s podcast is …
How to Identify and Get Rid of Limiting Beliefs
But before we get started, I have something for you. It is my Ultimate Guide to Guilt-Free Self-Care. It’s a Guide to help you take care of yourself in mind, body and spirit so you can feel like your best self every day. Visit my website tinahaisman.com to download it.
I would also like to invite you to my private group on Facebook where you can come to get positive inspiration for your life. Search A Life Designed in the facebook search bar.
Now let’s Dive IN and talk about …
How to Get Rid of Limiting Beliefs
I am doing this podcast as much for me as for you today. I want to help demystify this whole limiting belief thing. I feel like some people make it more complicated than it is. My hope is to break it down simply and give you a practical tool that you can use whenever you need it.
Let’s start by talking about what a belief is. A belief a thought that you have had so often that you no longer question it. You just take it as truth. It seeps into your subconscious and is programmed in.
This is how the brain works. It likes to be efficient. So, once it thinks something enough times, it remembers it and goes into autopilot mode.
Like walking for example. Once you learn how to walk as a child, you no longer think about it anymore, you just do it. One foot in front of the other. It’s in our subconscious.
Like our breathing, we don’t usually think about that either. I want to point this out so you see how powerful our subconscious is. It’s literally keeping us alive.
Our brain thinks all of our thoughts are super-important and vital for our survival. Some are, but some aren’t.
So, as we speak about limiting beliefs, I want you to know that nothing has gone wrong here in our little brains. This process of putting thoughts on autopilot is natural.
When the trouble comes in is when we have beliefs that are causing negative results in our lives.
This happens because our beliefs create our feelings. And our feelings create the actions we do or do not take. And those actions create results in our lives.
To really simplify it. Positive beliefs cause positive feelings, actions and results. Negative beliefs cause negative feelings, actions and results. Nothing positive is going to come from a negative belief.
And so if we want to change our negative results, we have to handle the negative beliefs.
My clients come to me with some pretty big, but common negative beliefs. Things like,
I’m not good enough
I’m not likeable
I’m not capable
Life is hard
Marriage is hard
The thing is they don’t realize they have these negative beliefs, because they are so used to thinking the thoughts that cause them that they just take them as truth.
If that’s the case, how do we identify negative beliefs? You can start by looking at the results you are getting in your life. Is there an area of your life that you are getting negative results in? That’s a cue that you are thinking negative thoughts.
So, let’s take a quick look at a couple of examples.
Say you believe you are a good mom. You are by the way. But believing you are a good mom will sustain you -- even on the toughest of days. If you think you are a good mom, when things get hard, you will still think you are a good mom and you will have thoughts like “I can do this,” or “I can figure this out.” These thoughts will cause you to feel confident. When you feel confident, you will be able to stay calm in a tense moment or get creative and find a solution to whatever the problem is. As a result, you will be acting like the great mother you want to be!
But if you believe you’re not a good enough mom, you are already losing this battle. Because you will have thoughts like, “I’m not good enough.” Or “I’m not cut out for this.” These thoughts will cause you to feel sadness or despair. When you are feeling this way, you might have low patience with your children and be on edge. Or you might not try your best to solve the problem at hand. This will prove to you that you are not the mother you wish you were.
We need to question all of our negative thoughts and beliefs. What is the upside of thinking you’re not a good mom? How does it serve you in your life? There are no benefits, so that’s how we know we’ve got to work on changing those thoughts.
Another limiting belief I hear a lot is, “marriage is hard.” If you believe marriage is hard, then you are going to have negative feelings like disappointment and frustration. You might let every little thing get on your nerves. You are going to be subconsciously looking for evidence that marriage is hard. This puts strain on your marriage and makes it hard. How does believing marriage is hard help you? It doesn’t. It just perpetuates the belief that marriage is hard.
What if you were to think something like – marriage is easy. That thought will produce feelings of hope. The hope will keep you more upbeat and will allow you to react more positively toward your spouse. And have more patience while you work through your challenges. This is going to be so much more peaceful than forcing something believing that marriage is hard.
So I hope those examples are helpful enough. Now I’d like to teach you 3 steps you can take to get rid of limiting beliefs.
The first step is to find the negative thought that is causing the negative results. You can do this with a simple thought download. Just write down all of your thoughts about the area of your life that you are having trouble in. Find the thought that is causing you the most pain.
For example, after writing down a few of your negative marriage thoughts, perhaps you realize you have a though that
Marriage is hard
Now, the second step is to think about how that thought is limiting you. What are the problems it’s creating?
Perhaps that thought is causing you to give up and not try to peacefully resolve conflicts. You just cave and stuff your feelings. And you’ve been growing further and further away from your spouse. These are negative results.
Step three is to decide what you want to believe instead.
Maybe you would love to believe that marriage is easy.
But I can hear you grumbling. You’re thinking how on earth do I go from thinking marriage is hard to thinking marriage is easy. Never fear my friend! I have a secret for you.
The secret is a bridging thought.
Because sometimes it’s too big of a stretch to go from marriage is hard all the way to marriage is easy.
What about something like, “Marriage can sometimes be hard, and that’s OK.” So you see how that brings more peace than negativity.
Another thought I like is, “Marriage is an adventure!” It surely is, isn’t it?
Or how about this, “Marriage is full of ups and downs.” That might help you to know that if you feel like you are in a down, there is hope for an up!
In wrapping this up, I want you to know that changing limiting beliefs takes time. It took you time to develop that negative thought pattern, now you can intentionally work on building a more positive belief pattern. Just keep practicing your new thoughts, and eventually they will be habit!
I advise my clients to write the new thought they would like to believe on a 3x5 notecard and carry it with them. Read it 3 times each day. Once in the morning, once in the afternoon and once in the evening. Do this for at least 30 days to help reprogram your subconscious mind.
So that’s the practical information I have for you today. But I have one last thought to offer you that I think is pretty important.
Limiting beliefs are negative prayers. Every thought you think is a prayer. And
Matthew 21:22 says, “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” My friends. If every thought you think is a prayer, why are we sending up negative prayers? Let’s stop this! Get to work on eliminating your negative beliefs today!
I know this is easier said than done, so if you would like some help sorting out your limiting beliefs, reach out to me for a complimentary call. I would love to guide you.
Thank you! See you next time!