We are all looking for more of something. More love from our spouse. More time to get everything done. More Fun. More friends.
But how do we get it?
This is something I help my clients with on a daily basis.
The concept is simple, but not necessarily easy at first. But once you get going, you will be unstoppable!
Let’s get you started today on getting more of what you want!
Tune in to the podcast, and I’ll share three client examples.
For more inspiration, join me in my private A Life Designed community on Facebook.
Also, I have created a free Cultivating Healthy Communication in Marriage Masterclass for you! This class is for you if you want to stop fighting with your husband and feel like you are on the same team.
Welcome to A Life Designed.
My name is Tina Haisman. I teach busy moms how to get everything done and still have time and energy for themselves. My passion is for helping women create more heart-to-heart connection with their husband and children so they can feel deeply fulfilled in those most important relationships.
The topic of today’s podcast is How to Get More of What You Want
But before we get started I want to let you know I have created a free Communication in Marriage MasterClass for you. This class is for you if you have ever felt like you can’t get through to your husband. If you feel like your husband never listens to you. If you lose your cool during difficult conversations. If you’re tired of fighting with your husband.
In just 30 minutes, this class will help you lay the foundation for healthy communication in marriage and teach you how to handle difficult conversations so you can feel more connected and like you’re on the same team as your husband. Visit the link in the show notes to access it.
Also, I have a FREE private group on Facebook where you can come to get inspiration for your life. It’s called A Life Designed. It’s actually a happy place on facebook. I hope you’ll join us!
Now let’s Dive IN and talk about How to Get More of What You Want
So, first things first. What is it that you want?
Peace? Love? Happiness? Money? Freedom? Joy? Fun? Meaningful friendships? Romance? Respect? Time?
What is it that you wish you had more of?
This could be the shortest podcast ever. Because I’m about to share a huge secret with you. The way to get more of what you want is to give it away and I can prove it to you.
The reason is because energy flows where our attention goes. If we are giving our attention to all that is wrong and bad in our lives, that’s all we see.
But if we come at it from a different angle and create a goal, we can then focus on achieving that goal. When you learn how to focus your energy this way, amazing things will happen in your life!
I thought I’d share a few client examples with you today to inspire you.
My client Shannon had been married for about 7 years. She was a work at home mom with a 3-year-old little boy, and a 1-year-old little girl.
Her days were filled with diapers and feeding and laundry and playing with two little ones, and by the time her husband got home from work, she was exhausted.
Her husband was in accounting, a very demanding job. And he often worked long hours making Shannon’s days alone with the kids even longer. This had been going on all the while since the children were born.
Shannon was feeling lonely. And she was a little worried about her marriage. She missed the romantic bond. She wondered if this was all there was going to be left of their marriage in the future.
Shannon tried talking to her husband about it, but nothing changed. In fact, it often caused friction. It seemed like her complaints made him angry. This made her feel very insecure. She didn’t know what to do. She was hurt and lonely and sad.
So, we decided to make a romantic relationship a focus. A new goal for her. We talked about all of the options for things that she could do to help her feel more romance in her relationship.
She decided to take her mindset back to their dating days and think about things they could talk or text about that were fun. Things they had in common. Things that drew them together and created the romance in the first place.
And then she really embraced the opportunity to bring into the relationship the romance she was desiring.
Her husband loved the attention and started reciprocating it back to her. It’s funny, because the “problem” didn’t change. But Shannon changed her thoughts about it and took action to bring into the relationship what she thought was missing.
And now, she is so much happier in her marriage. She feels loved and supported and is enjoying the fun, connection and intimacy in their relationship.
This doesn’t only work for marriage. It works for all of your relationships.
My client Jennifer has 3 teenage daughters.
Things were feeling really stressful between herself and her oldest daughter. It seemed like they were at odds all of the time. Never agreeing on anything. Never seeing eye-to-eye on anything. Everyone was walking on egg shells around the house because of the blowups between the two.
Discussions would get heated, and her daughter would get very emotional and yell at her mother and stomp off to her bedroom. She would say horrible things like, “You never listen to me.” Or “You don’t understand me.”
This was making Jennifer feel helpless. She was worried she was losing her little girl. She felt like she couldn’t get through to her.
So Jennifer and I dug down to see what the real issues might be and where Jennifer might need to give what she wanted to receive. What Jennifer wanted to receive was a peaceful relationship with her daughter. So, she set that as a goal and we worked to create that in the relationship.
During our call, she realized one problem was that she was too quick to offer advice, and that was agitating her daughter. So she sought out to become a better listener. Instead of offering advice, she started validating her daughter’s feelings and frustrations. Then she decided, instead of offering advice, she would ask if advice was wanted.
This one change in Jennifer’s behavior was life-changing. It made her daughter feel loved and heard. And that made her feel more peaceful. With this one change, their relationship changed dramatically. AND it changed the dynamics of the whole house. The outbursts used to create chaos within the home, but now, things are more peaceful.
My client Julie used this theory to attract some new meaningful friendships. She and her husband and their three children had moved to a new area. It had been about a year. Her husband was busy with his job, and the kids were doing quite well forming friendships of their own.
Julie was feeling lonely, though. It seemed like people were really friendly when she first arrived and her family got invitations to gatherings, but that they dwindled down.
Julie was yearning for some good girlfriends. She was growing a little apart from the friends in her previous town, because of the time and distance. Even though she still loved them very much, she said long distance friendships just aren’t the same.
So we set to work on this. Pondering what types of friendships Julie wanted. What kinds of qualities Julie appreciated in friends and would love to experience – things like thoughtfulness, warmth, kindness and trustworthiness.
We also looked at the amazing qualities she brought to friendships. Julie said she is fun, thoughtful, giving, caring and available.
So then Julie set a goal and started her work of intentionally cultivating friendships.
She started by inviting out women she thought she might have a connection with. She looked for potential friends at her children’s schools and at her church. But she also started volunteering for a cancer organization that was near and dear to her heart, and she found some new friends there, too.
Then she was intentional about continuing to reach out to the women that she enjoyed spending time with.
Before long she had a wonderful handful of friends. Now this didn’t happen overnight. It took time. But Julie was committed to her goal of creating meaningful, lasting friendships. And she felt so much happier and empowered about it because she took control!
First she got clear on what she wanted to receive, then she went out there and starting giving those things, and the friendships grew naturally!
I hope these examples help show you that whatever you want in your life is possible.
Just decide what you want. Set a goal to achieve it and create action steps to make it happen. You’ve got this!
If you need help figuring out how to get it, reach out to me for a complimentary consultation so I can help you.
In the meantime. Remember! I have created a free Marriage Communication MasterClass for you. Just click on the link in the show notes to access it.
Don’t forget to join the Life Designed Community on Facebook!
Thank you! See you next week!