I’m going to be really vulnerable with you here. It was Mother’s Day, and my husband gave a bottle of wine to another woman.
You’ll have to tune into the podcast to hear the whole story, but I can tell you that I was so hurt by that.
Mothers get two days a year—their birthday and Mother’s Day—to be doted on by their families, and I felt like this incident took that away from me.
All I wanted was to feel cherished on that day.
In this podcast episode, I’ll share how I got help from God with my thoughts and feelings. It’s kind of a cool story. I hope you’ll tune in!
If you would like more inspiration, download my Ultimate Guide to Guilt-Free Self-Care HERE!
And join us in the Life Designed Community on Facebook!
Welcome to A Life Designed.
My name is Tina Haisman. I teach busy moms how to get everything done and still have time and energy for themselves. My passion is for helping women become the mother, wife and career woman they want to be.
The topic of today’s podcast is How to Get Help from God
But before we get started I want to let you know I have a FREE private group on Facebook where you can come to get inspiration for your life. It’s called A Life Designed. I hope you’ll join us!
Also, I have created a free download call the Ultimate Guide to Guilt-Free Self-Care. It’s a Guide to help you take care of yourself in mind, body and spirit so you can feel like your best self every day. Visit my website tinahaisman.com to download it.
Now let’s Dive IN and talk about How to Get Help from God
One Mother’s Day a few years ago we went to Cooper’s Hawk for dinner to celebrate. It’s one of my favorite restaurants.
We were wine club members, and we had about 6 bottles to pick up that night. So we did on our way out.
As we were almost to the car, my husband took one of the bottles and approached another woman with two small children. She was wrangling them into the car.
He gave her that bottle of wine and said Happy Mother’s Day.
You’re probably thinking that was so sweet of him.
I was so mad. What the heck. It’s Mother’s Day, and you just took one of our bottles of wine and gave it to another woman. A stranger. I am the mother of your children, and I need these 6 bottles of wine to cope with motherhood sometimes. LOL!
Here he is thinking he’s being the nicest guy on the planet, feeling sorry for a mother alone on Mother’s Day. I really had trouble seeing it that way, friends. I felt very sorry for myself that I was not the only object of my husband’s affection that day.
Mother’s Day is one of only 2 days a year a woman gets to feel like she is adored and cherished by her family. And here he was giving away love that was rightfully mine, to another woman, and that felt very hard for me.
My mind was telling me all kinds of things I could say to express exactly how I was feeling in that moment. How insensitive of him to take something from me on Mother’s Day and give it to another woman. It unleashed all of my insecurities. All I wanted was to feel loved that day, and somehow, this incident felt like it took that away from me.
Part of my brain wanted to hash it out right there with him, but I knew that would be a bad idea, because I was so angry. So I took it to prayer the next day. To ask God how to handle it.
Seemingly miraculously he gave me Proverbs 31:26. She opens her mouth in wisdom; kindly instruction is on her tongue.
And Psalms 141:3: Set a guard, Lord, before my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips.
One of them was the verse of the day in the Bible app, the other one was part of a devotional I was reading. Crazy, right. It’s like God knew this was coming, so he had those verses prepared and ready for me.
What I took from praying about those verses was that I was not yet ready to speak about this to my husband, because it wouldn’t have been wise or kind. I wouldn’t have been able to have the conversation from a place of peace without crazy emotions.
This is a blessing of being in God’s word. He can speak to us directly. Give us good and holy direction – even when our feelings are hurt.
But that’s not the only way he speaks to us. And it’s not the only way he spoke to me in this incident.
If you can believe it, the same day a friend sent me a video called “Training Your Mouth for Marriage.”
Ha! God is so funny! How in the world did she know I needed that video that day! Of course God told her! Another benefit of us asking God for help and his leadership is that we show up for others without even realizing it.
One of the things I took from the video was that we don’t always have to share everything that comes into our head. And if we do, we want to be in a place to share it peacefully and without blame.
Then, just in case I wasn’t sure I was hearing him right … a day or so later, I heard a song on the radio. You might have heard of it. It’s Justin Timberlake’s “Say Something.”
A couple of the lyrics captured my attention. They said, “Sometimes the greatest way to say something is to say nothing at all.”
Kind of funny lyrics, since the name of the song is say something. But again, I felt God telling me to hang on.
So, in another time of prayer, I put all of the pieces of the puzzle together—the two scripture verses, the video from my friend and the lyrics in the song. I felt like these were all direct messages from God.
I felt like God was saying, it’s not going to be fruitful to discuss this until it can be kind and wise.
I tend to rush into having these types of conversations to nip them in the bud. Alleviate my bad feelings as soon as possible. But what I have found is that rushing into a conversation when I am not emotionally ready for it creates even more chaos than existed before.
I can almost guarantee that every time I have brought something up in the heat of the moment or without seeking wise counsel, I have regretted it.
I guess that’s one way you can think of God. As your counselor. Helping you know what to say and when to say it.
Over time I came to see that I might not need to bring this issue up at all. There wasn’t really anything that needed to be resolved. He didn’t do anything to hurt me. He was being loving to another human. How lucky am I to be married to a guy like that.
Yes. My feelings were hurt. And that’s because of how I chose to think about it at the time. But when I really spent some time with God and looking at the thoughts my mind was thinking, I realized, I wish I could have felt less selfish and more loving like him. I really do. And I felt really grateful that I am married to such a great guy. I’m pretty sure that heart of his is why I married him in the first place.
And so it’s stories like these that motivate me to stay in God’s word. Especially when I need help.
When you spend time with God in his Word, something changes inside of you of that radically impacts how you feel and how you show up in the world.
It helps you love the people in your in your life in a way you could never love them on your own, and that helps you to become... YOUR BEST version of yourself.
When we spend time seeking God’s counsel and in God’s word, we can clearly discern His voice in our lives and understand His direction.
I’m sharing this specific story with you today so you can see that the bible isn’t some old book that is no longer relevant. Much to the contrary, the scriptures are living and active. They help me so much when I need them.
I find that the bible answers almost every question we might have about how we should be living our lives.
And so I hope I’ve encouraged you to ask God for help and take a look in the good book the next time you are struggling with a situation in your life. I’m sure God will show you the way.
And also pay attention to the messages he sends you in other ways. Then you can do what I did and take all of the puzzle pieces to him and ask him to clarify for you.
I know this is easier said than done. I love helping my clients see where God is leading them and talking to them. If this is something you would like to work on cultivating further, reach out to me for a “Connecting with God” Coaching session.
That’s all I’ve got for today.
Remember! I have created the Ultimate Guide to Guilt-Free Self-Care to help you feel like your best self every day. You will find it on my website.
Don’t forget to join the Life Designed Community on Facebook!
Thank you! See you next week!