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Just a little PSA here in the spirit of healthy marriages. Handling disappointment or hurt feelings can be tricky.
Many times we unknowingly criticize instead of voice a complaint. Why is this important? Because a complaint focuses on a specific behavior or event. A criticism is more general and expresses negative feelings about the person's character. Ouch!
Here's a 3-step process for voicing your feelings so they're communicated as a complaint versus a criticism.
1. Here's how I feel
2. About this specific situation
3. Here's what I need
So, for instance.
Complaint: I'm so frustrated. The floor did not get swept last night like you said you would do. Can you please handle it tonight?
Criticism: Why can't you ever remember anything? I asked you 3 times to do that for me. You just don't care about me.
See the difference?! The criticism is negative and unjustified. The complaint addresses the problem.
Hope this helps.
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