What to Do if You Feel Lonely in Your Marriage
Loneliness is the last thing you expected to feel in your marriage, right?
You dreamed of a deep, fulfilling connection, but now you feel more like roommates than soulmates. As a marriage coach, I hear this all the time—wives feeling disconnected, unseen, and unsure of how to bring the spark back.
Most women come to me hoping I can offer the magic words to make their husband more engaged, more affectionate, more present.
But here’s the truth: Waiting for him to change is like putting your happiness on hold.
You don’t have to wait.
You have the power to feel connected and fulfilled—starting today.
The secret? It starts with YOU.
By shifting your mindset and taking small but meaningful actions, you can reignite the connection in your marriage--without begging, nagging, or waiting.
Here are seven simple yet powerful ways to bring back the closeness and joy you crave:
1. Cultivate Your Own Happiness
It might seem counterintuitive, but one of the best ways to combat loneliness is to focus on things that bring you joy—independently.
For example, if you love walking through nature preserves but your husband isn’t interested, go anyway! Instead of dwelling on his absence, shift your mindset to gratitude for doing something you love.
When you fill your own cup, you bring more happiness and energy into your marriage, too.
2. Expand Your Social Circle
Expecting your husband to fulfill all your social needs is a lot of pressure for both of you.
Instead, surround yourself with friends who bring joy and connection into your life—ones you can go out to dinner with, study the Bible with, watch chick flicks with, or even travel with.
By nurturing these relationships, you’ll feel more fulfilled and less likely to place unrealistic expectations on your marriage.
3. Invite Him—Without Pressure
If there’s something you’d love to do together, invite him—but let him know it’s okay to say no.
One of my clients was offered concert tickets, but her husband wasn’t interested. In the past, she would have declined, missing out on something she really wanted. But this time, she simply said, "I really want to go. Would you like to join me, or should I invite a friend?"
Her husband’s response completely shifted: “Oh! You WANT to go? Okay! I’ll come with you!”
By staying true to herself without guilt-tripping him, she created an opportunity for them both to enjoy something special together.
4. Do Something He Loves
Sometimes, connection comes from stepping into his world.
Men often connect through shared activities rather than deep conversations. So, think of something he enjoys—hiking, fishing, bowling, working out, or even doing a puzzle—and invite him to do it together.
It doesn’t have to be your favorite thing; the point is to build moments of togetherness.
5. Express Your Desires, Not Complaints
Saying, “You never spend time with me” might feel true, but it also puts him on the defensive.
Instead, try something more inviting: “I miss you. I’d love to spend some one-on-one time together soon.”
This small shift in language keeps the conversation open and encouraging rather than accusatory.
6. Protect Your Time Together
Take a look at your schedule—are you both so busy that there’s no time left for each other?
If so, find ways to free up space. Can you cut back on commitments? Rearrange your routine?
Even scheduling intentional one-on-one time can make a huge difference.
7. Manage Your Mindset
Your thoughts create your feelings.
If you constantly think, “My husband should spend more time with me,” it leads to frustration and resentment. But is that thought serving you?
Try shifting it to: “I would love to spend quality time with my husband.”
Then take action! Whether that means planning a fun outing, making room in your schedule, or simply appreciating the small moments together—your mindset shapes your experience.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone!
I know change isn’t always easy. That’s why I created Love Reboot, a program designed to help you reconnect, refresh, and reignite your marriage.
If you’re ready to take the next step, I’d love to help! Learn more HERE!
You dreamed of a deep, fulfilling connection, but now you feel more like roommates than soulmates. As a marriage coach, I hear this all the time—wives feeling disconnected, unseen, and unsure of how to bring the spark back.
Most women come to me hoping I can offer the magic words to make their husband more engaged, more affectionate, more present.
But here’s the truth: Waiting for him to change is like putting your happiness on hold.
You don’t have to wait.
You have the power to feel connected and fulfilled—starting today.
The secret? It starts with YOU.
By shifting your mindset and taking small but meaningful actions, you can reignite the connection in your marriage--without begging, nagging, or waiting.
Here are seven simple yet powerful ways to bring back the closeness and joy you crave:
1. Cultivate Your Own Happiness
It might seem counterintuitive, but one of the best ways to combat loneliness is to focus on things that bring you joy—independently.
For example, if you love walking through nature preserves but your husband isn’t interested, go anyway! Instead of dwelling on his absence, shift your mindset to gratitude for doing something you love.
When you fill your own cup, you bring more happiness and energy into your marriage, too.
2. Expand Your Social Circle
Expecting your husband to fulfill all your social needs is a lot of pressure for both of you.
Instead, surround yourself with friends who bring joy and connection into your life—ones you can go out to dinner with, study the Bible with, watch chick flicks with, or even travel with.
By nurturing these relationships, you’ll feel more fulfilled and less likely to place unrealistic expectations on your marriage.
3. Invite Him—Without Pressure
If there’s something you’d love to do together, invite him—but let him know it’s okay to say no.
One of my clients was offered concert tickets, but her husband wasn’t interested. In the past, she would have declined, missing out on something she really wanted. But this time, she simply said, "I really want to go. Would you like to join me, or should I invite a friend?"
Her husband’s response completely shifted: “Oh! You WANT to go? Okay! I’ll come with you!”
By staying true to herself without guilt-tripping him, she created an opportunity for them both to enjoy something special together.
4. Do Something He Loves
Sometimes, connection comes from stepping into his world.
Men often connect through shared activities rather than deep conversations. So, think of something he enjoys—hiking, fishing, bowling, working out, or even doing a puzzle—and invite him to do it together.
It doesn’t have to be your favorite thing; the point is to build moments of togetherness.
5. Express Your Desires, Not Complaints
Saying, “You never spend time with me” might feel true, but it also puts him on the defensive.
Instead, try something more inviting: “I miss you. I’d love to spend some one-on-one time together soon.”
This small shift in language keeps the conversation open and encouraging rather than accusatory.
6. Protect Your Time Together
Take a look at your schedule—are you both so busy that there’s no time left for each other?
If so, find ways to free up space. Can you cut back on commitments? Rearrange your routine?
Even scheduling intentional one-on-one time can make a huge difference.
7. Manage Your Mindset
Your thoughts create your feelings.
If you constantly think, “My husband should spend more time with me,” it leads to frustration and resentment. But is that thought serving you?
Try shifting it to: “I would love to spend quality time with my husband.”
Then take action! Whether that means planning a fun outing, making room in your schedule, or simply appreciating the small moments together—your mindset shapes your experience.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone!
I know change isn’t always easy. That’s why I created Love Reboot, a program designed to help you reconnect, refresh, and reignite your marriage.
If you’re ready to take the next step, I’d love to help! Learn more HERE!