 Photo by Polina Tankilevitch I'll never forget that morning.
It was 5:00 a.m. I was sitting on the side of the bathtub in my bathroom in our Florida home, having just put my workout clothes on. My kids were 3 and 6 years old. My husband was still asleep. And I was feeling exhausted. Spent. Uninspired. Lonely. Miserable. I looked up and prayed to God, "I don't think I can do this today." Maybe you've been there too. Maybe you're sitting there right now — running on empty, wondering how you're going to make it through another day of giving, serving and showing up for everyone else. And when someone suggests you should take better care of yourself ... The guilt sets in. "But I don't have time." "But I don't have help with the kids." "But my husband needs me." "But isn't that selfish?" That last one is the one that keeps so many Christian moms stuck in survival mode. Here's the truth that changed everything for me: Self-care isn't selfish. It's biblical. What Does the Bible Say About Self-Care? When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, He said: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 22:37-39) Did you catch that last part? "Love your neighbor AS yourself."
Jesus assumed we would love ourselves. He assumed we would care for ourselves. He built it right into the commandment. And yet, so many of us have twisted this into meaning we should deplete ourselves for everyone else. That's not what God intended. You Can't Pour from an Empty Cup Back during that season when I was sitting on the side of my bathtub praying for strength, my husband and I were arguing a lot. One of our biggest fights happened many times each week around 6 p.m. He would call to tell me he wouldn't be home at 6 p.m. for dinner. And I would lose it. I felt angry. Hurt. Unloved. Unimportant. I was exhausted from being home with the kids all day, and I needed him to come home and help me. But no matter how much I complained or how angry I got, things never got better. In fact, they got worse. Then my life coach asked me a question that changed everything: "How can you get to 6 p.m. without feeling so depleted?" Wait. What? She wasn't telling me to fix my husband. She was empowering me to take care of myself. The Turning Point That question led me on a journey of discovering what it meant to truly care for myself — without guilt. When I took care of my spiritual, emotional, mental and physical needs, EVERYTHING in my life improved: ✓ I became more patient with my children ✓ I had the biggest career success of my life ✓ I started having a deeper relationship with God ✓ I improved my relationship with my husband ✓ I got clear on which relationships were healthy and which ones weren't When I took care of myself first, I became the wife, mother and woman God created me to be. Not because I was selfish. Because I was filled up and had something to give. Practical, Guilt-Free Self-Care for Christian Moms So what does guilt-free self-care actually look like? 1. Daily Time with God This was my "One Thing." I craved a deeper relationship with God, so I made it a priority to:
When I started working on my relationship with God, my entire life began to improve. 2. Do 1-3 Things Per Day That Make You Happy Yes, really. Give yourself permission to do small things that bring you joy:
3. Create Boundaries That Honor Your Energy Remember my 6 p.m. meltdowns? I had to figure out how to get to 6 p.m. without being depleted. For me, that meant:
4. Journal Your Way to Clarity One of the most powerful tools I use is a simple journaling technique:
It takes only 5 minutes and completely shifts my mindset. God Didn't Call You to Deplete Yourself Here's what I want you to remember: God didn't design motherhood to mean losing yourself. The abundant life Christ promised isn't supposed to feel like survival mode. When you take care of yourself — spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically — you're not being selfish. You're becoming the woman God created you to be. And when you do that? Everyone around you benefits.
That's not selfish. That's stewardship. Ready to Take the Next Step? If you're tired of running on empty and ready to step into the abundant life God designed for you, I'd love to help. Download my FREE Ultimate Guide to Guilt-Free Self-Care → Or, if you're ready for personalized support: Book a complimentary consultation to explore coaching → You don't have to do this alone. With love, Tina
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